A Day at the Mall  A Spock Tale
by Rae Stickler
Summary: Spock doesn't like shore leave but to win the affections of the chief security officer, he'll do whatever it takes to make her happy - including going to the mall. Orig characters: Amelia & Skylar  check out my story ST 2.0; it introduces them .


**A/N: **Mild language and some homosexual referrences. Don't take offense, I love gay people; I have a few of them in my life. And in my world, Chekov and Sulu are gay. Together. That is all. Oh yeah, and I don't own anything Star Trek related except my two characters Amelia and Skylar (if you want to get to know them better, check out my story Star Trek Two Point OH!) Thank you.

**A Day at the Mall: A Spock Tale**

If there was one thing Spock did not particularly care for, it was shore leave. Rest, of course, did eventually become a necessity for the Vulcan but work was considerably more pleasurable a thing than what his peers deemed shore leave; if the circumstance had a different name, like "shore rest," then perhaps he wouldn't inwardly desire to remain at his post. However, when Jim announced to his crew that their next assignment would be shore leave, Spock couldn't help but cling to his post.

For humans, shore leave was the chance to embark on anything but rest. The humanistic approach to shore leave consisted of inebriation, questionable antics deemed "dancing," gambling and other various games that required sticks and pointed flying objects; slurred and coarse language and phrases that usually ended in physical retaliation. As an equation, shore leave was equal but not limited to x amount of alcohol times x amount of physically simulating activities with logic and rest removed. This was the one equation that constantly baffled Spock's brain, yet it was one his human peers were so eager to calculate out once the leave was given.

Montgomery Scott, Nyota Uhura and Skylar Pike were generally the ones initiating physical confrontation; James T. Kirk was generally on the receiving end from a female stranger. Pavel Chekov, Hikaru Sulu and Amelia Takashi frequented the dance floors with Uhura and Kirk in tow. Between poker and drinking games, sometimes Leonard McCoy, Pike and Scott would end up - by force - dancing. They all had their fill of drinks, some more so than others. At the low end of the spectrum was Sulu, Amelia, Chekov and Uhura - the low end a 3 on a scale of 1 to 5; depending on Jim, who, despite the responsibilities of his captaincy, was generally in the 4.8 range, Uhura's point on the line varied in movement towards the 3 and 4 plots. Skylar was generally a steady 4, Leonard a 3.5 to 4 and Scotty always held fast to his reign on the number 5.

On a scale of 1 to 5, Spock could consume an amount of alcohol of a rate of 10 and he'd still be soberer than all of them combined. His Vulcan DNA did not allow him to take part in such perversely hostile festivities because alcohol had no affect on him. But despite the fact that he could not get his "buzz on" as they all had said eagerly at one point or another, darts, pool, gambling and dancing were not in his description of shore leave. For him, shore leave equated with going out and exploring with a tricorder, recording and analyzing data native to the planet they were visiting; a game of 3D chess also was enticing, as was playing his lyre or investing some time into the ship's extensive data library. After all of that, Spock found meditation and a good nap appealing. When off duty, he usually found himself staring out into space, his mind on a constant journey outward, full of questions and analysis. It baffled him that no one else seemed to desire to partake in such calming activities, considering the type of mental and in some cases (namely for Skylar) physically demanding pressures. However, as a bachelor, Spock would have found it particularly easy to decline an invitation to take embark on a shore leave assignment with the bridge crew. Even with the begging and whining from Jim, Spock never felt guilty in saying no. But now that he was heavily involved with the ship's security chief and weapons master, Spock saw fit to make sure that his mate, Lt. Pike, was happy.

At first, denying shore leave with her and the group was hard for him. He was not comfortable with the way Skylar seemed so disappointed by his lack of enthusiasm for involvement with her and their friends. It was strange that he should ... feel that way. It was not like any true emotion would settle in him or throw off his demeanor the rest of the day; it was just that when he declined an invite, he couldn't help but glance back as Skylar left him. He also began to note the amount of times he found himself checking the time when she was away. Plenty of times he'd noticed how often he glanced at the door of her quarters, his quarters and the security deck and PT rooms where Skylar was typically found while on duty.

With all of these odd habits forming, a curious notion took hold of him one while day as he sat at his station imputing data into his databank: perhaps he could try again. He'd gone out with them all before during shore leave, hence the reason he was not interested in returning to the festivities. But maybe now that he and Skylar were on a more serious level in their relationship, his comfort level would be satisfactory even if he didn't partake in the dancing, drinking or gambling. After all, he would be with her and that should stop all of the ridiculously human attributes he'd picked up on. It seemed logical, any how.

"Spock, man," Jim called from his chair.

Spock lifted his head and turned in his own chair to face the captain. "Yes, Captain?"

"Spock, are you okay?" Jim asked with a grin. "I've been trying to get your attention for, like, five minutes."

"Yeah, I'm slightly concerned," Bones interjected from next to Jim's chair with a hint of sarcasm in his tone, his arms crossed over his chest. "I can understand you getting lost in ecstasy over your work, but even my 'green-blooded hobgoblin' remarks didn't faze you."

Spock stood from his chair, smoothing out his blue tunic. "Perhaps your efforts to have a witty way of throwing me off have become inconsequential, Doctor. Perhaps you are - as you humans would say - losing your touch."

Bones cocked an eyebrow, put off. "Humph," he grunted, looking at Jim. "My prescription - shore leave."

Jim nodded to the doctor. He looked back at Spock. "You will be taking a break, right Spock?"

Defeated, Spock placed his hands behind his back and nodded. "Yes, Captain." He paused and then slowly continued, "I have reached the maximum number of work-related hours permitted in one log-in."

Jim chuckled. Behind him, at the communications station, Uhura spun around in her chair, setting her ear piece onto the console.

"Captain, I've just confirmed docking procedure initiation with Earth."

From the helm, Sulu announced, "Engaging docking procedure as we speak. We should be docked in ten minutes."

"Thank you Uhura, Mr. Sulu," Jim said, eying the view screen lovingly. He continued over the PSA, "All decks, this is the captain. Prepare for docking procedures -"

Sulu leaned in towards Chekov and Chekov gave him a smirk. "Among other things," he whispered with a naughty grin. Both of their snickers were cut short when a pen from a PADD smacked Sulu in the back of the head. The helmsmen whirled around to see Jim waving his finger at them to silence them, an eyebrow arched high on his forehead in reprimand.

"I'm hoping you all enjoy the next 48 hours off. Make it count. Kirk out." Jim exhaled deeply, slammed his hands down onto the arms of his chair and spun his chair around, nearly knocking Bones over.

"My God, Jim!" Bones irritably groaned.

"Doctor," sounded Spock's voice through the excited din that now disquieted the bridge as a grinning Sulu moved the ship towards Starfleet's operations station above Earth's atmosphere. Spock walked toward Bones who was watching Jim make his way toward Uhura, who was very obvious in her attempt to "ignore" Jim's attention.

"Yeah, what is it, Spock?" asked Bones offhandedly.

"I'm assuming that Lt. Takashi is still at her post?"

"Is that a question or a statement, Spock?"

"A question, as I am sure you're plans for shore leave may have put her work to a premature end," Spock replied coolly.

Bones rolled his eyes. "Is it too much for us humans to be a little excited to be getting off of this bucket of bolts after five months of space, space and more damn space?" He immediately held up a hand to Spock's face as Spock began to respond. "Don't answer such an illogical question."

"Bones!" Chekov called, he and Sulu both turning their chairs around to face the doctor and Vulcan. "Ve're steel on tonight, right?"

"Amelia was talking about hitting up the Crescent off of the Academy campus," Sulu explained.

"Cadets frequent that spot," Bones remarked, slightly disgusted.

"Yeah," Jim added ecstatically, coming up from behind and grabbing Bones's shoulders, giving him a playful grip. "Fresh, young meat." Uhura walked up behind Jim and slammed a PADD against his back.

"Reports," she said sweetly, winking at the group of them. "I'm signing off Captain. I won't see you tonight at Crescent."

His hand massaging his lower back and the other holding Uhura's PADD, he nodded innocently at her. "Have fun. I won't you tonight either because I know how forbidden it is to drink and such while active with crewmen."

"That's never deterred you," Spock remarked.

Jim quickly looked around as other crewmen made their way off of the bridge. "Spock!" he whispered harshly. "Do you have to be so loud!"

"Speaking of forbidden, what about you, Spock?" Sulu inquired over his shoulder as he focused on the view screen. "Will you be joining us? I'm sure a certain Lt. would love that."

"I am off to find Lt. Takashi," Spock replied. He nodded to them all. "If I do not see any of you again until departure, fare well."

"Aw, Spock!" Jim moaned playfully. "There's no chance of you getting down with us tonight?"

Spock turned to him as he walked into the turbo shaft. "I will be 'getting down,' Jim. Down to Takashi's station." And the doors closed before him.

:::::

Amelia almost outwardly groaned when she saw Spock enter the computer programming room as her crewmates were collecting their belongings to leave. A few of them nodded to the commander as he approached Amelia with his hands behind his back, erect with perfect posture and an unexpressive face.

"Dammit," she groaned, setting her satchel onto her chair and then turning to face him with an even - and forced - smile. "Commander Spock," she greeted cordially, "What brings you to my dungeon? I was just about to sign off."

"There's no need for harsh language, Lt."

Inwardly, she groaned again. Damn Vulcan ears, she thought.

"I come with a significantly enigmatic inquiry." He brought to view a small yellow tape that he'd held behind his back.

Amelia eyed the tape, puzzled, annoyed and curious. "A line of code you can't decipher?" She took the tape from him and inserted it into her computer. As they both leaned toward the screen over the desk area, Spock replied, "Not exactly. I am understanding of the content but unable to respond. I need your advice - it is imperative, Lt."

Amelia's eyes widened as she slowly slumped into her chair, Spock behind the back of it, both of their faces illuminated with blinking colors. Taking a glance around and seeing that only she and Spock were left in the room (everyone was quick to evacuate when Spock made himself present), Amelia looked up at him and exclaimed in a whisper, "You want to come to the club with us?"

"No," said Spock simply. "But if it means that I will have a night without formalities with Lt. Pike, then I shall accompany her."

Amelia pouted her lip into a smile. "Aw, Spock, that is so selflessly romantic of you!"

A twinge of green flushed across his cheeks. He cleared his throat and stood upright. "It has become known to me that regulation Starfleet-issued uniforms are not customary to the social paradigm of the clubbing atmosphere. Therefore, I will require your guidance in acquiring the correct formalwear for tonight's excursion."

Amelia laughed as she stood from the chair and playfully punched his arm. Ruefully, she blushed. "That's a simple answer. However, I will need some assistance."

Spock's eyebrows lifted on his forehead, indicating slight surprise. "You require ... assistance?"

Amelia nodded casually. "It's no biggie, Spock, but I'd like some male input -"

"I refuse to take advice from Dr. McCoy or the captain."

Amelia placed her hands on her hips. "Not that I was going to ask them, but why?"

"With all due respect to your choice of companionship with Leonard, his counsel may lead me towards a rather southern appearance that is still deemed unacceptable in an urban dancing and drinking establishment; furthermore, his clothing is a bit rugged for my personal taste, if I were to actually fall victim to enslavement of human fashion - which would be illogical. As for the captain - well, I'd prefer to show little skin as possible and to not stand out so much as an eclipse against the atmosphere."

The corner of Amelia's lips curled. "Rest assured, my Vulcan superior, I'd never trust fashioning you up for your first actual shore leave-leave to a couple of straight men."

The Vulcan's right eyebrow slowly heightened on his forehead. "Straight men?" he asked.

Amelia crossed her arms over her chest and nodded just as slowly. "Yes ... straight men. So I wouldn't ask Leonard or Jim - they are interested in women and have poor fashion sense in regards to a third male party's inquiry."

Spock continued to stare at her, trying to decode what the Lt. was trying to convey. He did want to illustrate his confusion so easily, but his lack of response was a clear indication.

"Have I lost you, Spock?"

"Who would you ask, then, to assist in this labyrinth of a problem?"

Amelia decided to both enlighten Spock and to let him off of the hook. She answered simply, "Sulu and Chekov, of course."

:::::

Spock followed Amelia at her heels as they exited the transporter pad and headed toward a shuttle in the space station.

"It is imperative that you mention my dilemma to no one," Spock firmly stated near Amelia's ear as the young Lt. clung to the strap of her satchel.

"With the state of your closet, you're lucky I don't make this a galactic priority." She stopped before the shuttle's doors, Spock stopping abruptly behind her.

"I do not understand how my -"

Amelia held up her hand to silence him. "Just meet me and the boys at my room after we've landed. I'll explain the situation to them on the way."

Spock heard the pft of the doors of the shuttle recessing open behind her. "Yes, Lt."

Amelia stepped into the shuttle. Poking her head out from the doorway, she said, "Once this skant comes off, I'm Amelia and you, Mr. Spock, are my cadet."

Spock caught her smirk before the doors closed. He backed away as an attendant walked by, motioning him to the next available shuttle craft. As he followed, he watched Kirk and Skylar approaching, both of them laughing amidst their humorous and exclusive conversation. Spock abruptly headed into the next shuttle, hearing a shout from the both of them. Spock sat in a seat and glanced up just as the doors closed, sealing off Jim and Skylar. From the persuasion of his human half, Spock sighed in relief.

:::::

Chekov fell flat on his face on the bed. "Aye yie yie," he moaned into the pillow. "How can zat even heppen in real life? Zat sounds like a vork of feection."

Sulu nodded from the doorway of the hotel room, his arms crossed. "Are you sure?" he asked of Amelia as she pulled a pair of leggings on under her blue and red striped short-sleeved tunic.

"I saw it for myself," she assured him, slipping her feet into a pair of black flats. "His closet was full."

Chekov lifted his head from the bed. "But weeth only three outfits?"

"Yes; duplicates of his Starfleet uniform, duplicates of his Starfleet dress uniform and a single white Vulcan-y robe-like thing with some geometrical shapes on it."

Chekov chuckled. "Thank God he didn't vant to vear zat tonight!"

Amelia eyed the youthful Russian. "He did. Originally."

Chekov moaned aloud and dropped his head again.

Sulu shook his head, sighed and took a seat next to Amelia on the bed. "As much as I wanted to relax before getting absolutely plastered and enduring a night of unmitigated pleasure of the gay and - hopefully - memorable kind, this is very much an emergency of gargantuan proportion."

"And since I em in zat equation, I shall assist, too," Chekov's muffled words came.

"Thanks guys," Amelia stated in relief. "I do appreciate it."

Sulu looked around. "Hey, why isn't Skylar here?"

Chekov sat up immediately and shot Sulu a sharp look.

"I didn't mean as assistance to the problem, I meant for moral support," Sulu snapped.

"Skylar doesn't know," Amelia clarified. "In fact, she can't know until tonight. It's a surprise."

"Does anyone else know?" Sulu asked.

"I wasn't supposed to say anything to anyone outside of this triangle and Spock, per Spock's vehement request."

"So everyone in our group knows?"

"Aside from Skylar, yes."

Sulu smacked his lips. "Well, I suppose it was imperative to keep Skylar away."

"And it was just the most epic thing I'd ever heard or seen!" Amelia giggled. "But yeah, Skylar had to be kept away."

"You know her temper," Chekov added. "How are zey keeping her avay, anyvay?"

"I actually saw her and Jim en route to the hotel's pool," Sulu mentioned. "Spock isn't fond of the water, so that would give him an excuse to be with us."

"Yeah, Jim was gonna occupy her with Bones while us three shopped - which Skylar hates; then Nyota and her were gonna get ready."

"Did Spock have an excuse as to where he was gonna be?" Sulu asked.

"I actually think his plan was to evade her all day."

Chekov's eyes widened slightly. "Oh boy ... she is NOT gonna like zat ..."

"With our luck she's already irked at him for ditching her and she'll continue to have fun with no inclination to question his whereabouts," stated Sulu with a smile. "Oh, the predictable dynamics of those we call friends."

An abrupt knocking sounded from the door. The three of them stiffened. As humorous as the entire situation was - the best part being that it was all about Spock - it didn't change the fact that they were all about to deal with Spock. On duty or off, Spock did not possess the ability to turn his brain off of work mode, unlike the rest of them. And placing this Vulcan in a reposed and social atmosphere was an experiment none of them as scientists would have ever thought to consider ... almost every hypothesis conceivable ended with some sort of miscalculation that would equate to a significant explosion of a severe clash of cultures and abrasive attitudes.

And yet through all of that, deep within the equation was a negative exponential number that held the simple chemistry of Spock at a mall shopping; Spock at a mall with two gay guys and a girl, shopping for clubbing clothes; Spock. At. A. Mall ... to prepare for a night of clubbing.

Like the sun to an ice cube, Sulu merrily chimed, "Who is it?" at the door. Both Amelia and Chekov giggled as the tension lessened, although Chekov still seemed a bit anxious.

From behind the door, they heard the deep and reserved response from Spock, "It is I, Spock, Helmsman, here for our business together this afternoon."

Sulu rolled his eyes and proceeded to open the door. Leaning against it, Sulu briskly said, "It's just Sulu right now. Or you can even be more pleasant and call me Hikaru. It's your choice, Spock - I can play hardball if you wanna go. But you're in my house now."

Spock raised an eyebrow, his hand behind his back; he was still in his uniform. "May I enter?"

"Are you gonna be a douche for the rest of the day? Because I won't be able to work under such conditions."

From behind the door they heard Chekov mutter, "And I'll get to deal veeth it for ze rest of ze night... "

Amelia pulled the door open, moving Sulu in the process. Giving Spock a welcoming smile, she stated simply, "Welcome, Spock. Come in."

Spock proceeded in past Sulu, who pursed his lips. He stopped at the end of the first bed where Chekov was sitting, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"I understand that I am, as Mr. Sulu stated, 'in your house,' though this is in fact a hotel room."

Sulu sighed, exasperated. "Spock, this is shore leave, and we are sacrificing our break time to help you out; the least you can do is be grateful!"

"I am," Spock replied coolly.

"I mean, after tonight, at least one of us will be getting laid!"

Amelia and Chekov eyed him. "I think that's on the bridge's entire to-do list, man," Amelia stated.

"Jah!" added Chekov. "And ve are vasting time!" He looked to Spock and stood, appearing a bit more confident as his shoulders pressed back and his fists clenched at his sides. "Meester Spock, you need to take off your clothes."

Spock paused and then nodded in understanding. "Ah, I am quite familiar with the practices of homosexuality now, but I regret to inform you, Ensign, I am Skylar's mate. And I do not feel that your mate would appreciate an offer of coitus in his presence."

Chekov scrunched his face and shook his head as both Sulu and Amelia laughed. "No, no, no!" Chekov hollered, waving his hands at Spock. "I refuse to take you to ze mall dressed like zat!"

"Have you no pride in your - ?"

"Spoooock," Amelia said in a sing-song fashion, gently turning the Vulcan by the shoulder. "Remember: our house, our rules."

Defeated, Spock sighed. "Affirmative."

As Spock began to undress, Sulu eyed Amelia. "He's around my size."

Amelia nodded in agreement while Chekov commented, "I brought your black striped shirt just in case. Eets right here." As Chekov reached for the shirt on the end of the bed, Spock's uniform landed on the end of the bed delicately as the Vulcan bent over, topless, and began to fold his top. All of the rustling of the room ceased, all eyes on the lightly green-tinged skin that flawlessly lined the outer structure of Spock's body. His chest and abdomen were toned nicely yet not too excessively; he had a moderate amount of chest hair, broad shoulders and toned arms. Amelia looked between the two gay men in the room, Sulu smirking bluntly and Chekov caught in shock.

"Okay," Amelia said with a clap, "He's got a top, what about pants?"

"He can get in my pants," Sulu responded capriciously. Instantly he shook his head, eying Chekov ruefully. "Uh, haha, I meant I have pants he can borrow." Sulu noticed that Chekov was staring at the Vulcan, who was staring right back but without the dreamy gaze. "Hey, Pav," Sulu called. "You wanna grab Spock some bottoms from our room?"

Chekov slowly nodded. "I'll ... grab his ... bottom."

Amelia smacked Chekov on the shoulder.

Chekov shook his head to break the trance. He nodded nervously, eying Sulu. "Oh, yes, I'm sorry. I was just ..."

"Admiring the magnificent Vulcan physique?" Sulu finished for him sardonically.

Chekov moved away from Spock, still chuckling nervously. "I'm not much into Wulcan physique."

Sulu playfully bumped the Russian with his hip as Chekov passed him en route to the door. "Boys," Sulu sighed, shaking his head and rolling his eyes as Amelia giggled. Once the door shut behind Chekov, Sulu clapped his hands together and looked to Spock, who stood there topless and looking as though nothing was out of place in the room. "Okay, Spock, I guess you should take your pants off now."

:::::

Skylar broke the water's surface and splashed out at Uhura, who sat propped up on Jim's shoulder's.

"Hey, no clawing!" Bones yelled, breaking the surface next to Skylar.

"Last time I checked, the rules were that there aren't any rules, Bones," Jim laughed.

"I'm on leave, Jim. The last thing I wanna do is bandage anyone up," Bones spat.

"Thanks," Skylar said sarcastically. "This would be easier if Spock was here with his Vulcan grip."

Uhura looked down at Jim and then she let out a yelp as he dumped her off of his back into the water.

"That includes head injuries," Bones muttered.

Jim swam toward them both, keeping his head just above the surface, smiling. "Oh, I'm sure it wouldn't be _that_ fun with Spock here; we'd be forced to _have_ rules."

"Can Spock even swim?" Bones mused.

Uhura joined the group. "I wonder what he looks like in a pair of board shorts," she added with a smirk.

Jim shot her a look. "I don't think they make regulation trunks," he stated coolly.

Skylar was not amused. She ran her fingers over the surface. "I feel bad," she said quietly. "Maybe I shouldn't go tonight."

"What?" Uhura, Jim and Bones chimed in unison.

Skylar was taken aback. "Well, I never spend shore leave with him."

"He's totally fine!" Uhura said, waving away her concern away with her hand. She proceeded to wrap her arms around Jim's neck from behind. "You know how he is."

Skylar nodded. "I know ... it's just that if we're going to be together, we need to have some commonalities. We can't _only_ be around each other at work ..."

"Don't worry, Sky," Jim told her confidently. "He's having a good time with Amelia, Su and Chek, and you'll be with all of us tonight, and Spock will get all of the rest his little green heart desires."

Skylar eyed him. "What the hell? ... He'd _never_ go shopping with me ... How in the hell did he end up shopping with the girls?"

"It's that gay persuasion ... it's hard to resist," Jim explained matter-of-factly.

"I'm sure it is," Uhura teased.

"I'm sure Amelia needed just needed a third opinion on whatever the hell it is she's buying, and since Spock is available ... well, I'm sure he found it logical somehow," Bones said.

Skylar nodded, looking down at her reflection in the water. "I just hope he isn't angry with me."

Bones laughed. "He's a Vulcan ... look, we are all thinking too damn sober right now."

"Doctor?" Jim inquired.

"Let's go catch up with Scotty at the bar! Mint Juleps all around!"

The three of them eyed each other.

"I think I'll just have a Bud Classic," Jim said.

Uhura added, "Cosmo."

Bones looked to Skylar. "And you, Sky?"

"An iced tea."

"Long?"

"No," she replied. "I'm going to be sober tonight, after the club ... for Spock."

As they all started swimming toward the nearest ladder, Uhura gave Skylar a wink. "Good idea," she commented, her pink lips curled.

:::::

Spock had never really understood the use of shorts. He had never seen them worn until he had come to Earth, and that was after he'd entered into the Academy. He'd been curious by the pants that were cut off at an alarmingly short distance from the hip exposing one's legs. It was a strange article of clothing, as though the individual that was donning such a thing could not decide between wearing pants or not wearing any at all. He understood that they were a casual item; they were appropriate during the summer and spring seasons. Men wore them while jogging or swimming, or in this case, to the mall. He'd decided that they were necessary for human males (and females) when the temperatures were deemed too high to wear pants. Being from Vulcan, Spock was used to donning several layers in intense heat, because that was all the Vulcan civilization had - high temperatures and robes; beyond that that was all that was logical. There wasn't a need to accessorize or accumulate several different styles of clothing. One only needed some basic clothing intended for studies, formal occasions and religious ceremonies. Beyond that, no other Vulcan put any mind into it. No Vulcan sought out a mate based on the appearance of their clothing. Clothing had nothing to do with intellect. Humans preferred less clothing, he had formulated. They enjoyed showing skin. For them, beyond personal comfort, showing skin was a sign of availability and attraction. Shorts allowed for this.

Spock, however, was not (completely) human, had no intention of being available or attractive, and the weather outside was not nearly warm enough to consider less clothing. Despite all of this, Spock found himself in Sulu's black striped v-neck shirt and khaki cargo shorts, and a pair of Jim's ... flip flops, as they were strangely called, Chekov had nicked from the captain's room which was conveniently adjacent to their room.

The glass doors of the mall recessed open, allowing the foursome to walk into the coolness of the lively atmosphere. Humans and aliens of all walks of life strutted about with their bags, drinks and din, seeming to be as alive as the sun was shining outside on the bright summer day.

Sulu exhaled deeply. "Ahh, home," he said happily as Chekov nodded at his side.

"Vould be even better if it vas a Russian mall."

"Where should we begin to fossick for the appropriate attire for carousing?" Spock asked, looking around at the conundrum before him.

"Well, you don't want to go out in anything too expensive because there will probably be a lot of spilling of drinks ... since Scotty will be around," Amelia started as she slowly led the group into the crowds. "Su, you generally shop at Flyby's, right?"

"Yeah, but that's not in this mall anymore."

"And zat is a beet much for Spock," Chekov commented. "He needs to remain on ze darker end of ze color spectrum, no?"

"Why is that?" Spock inquired, eying a large lit up sign that read Orange Nebula. " ... Orange Neb -?"

Chekov grabbed his hand and pulled him in the direction of Sulu and Amelia as they rerouted their present course. "No time to think vith your stomach! And blacks and grays vill work vell vith you; zey vill make you look even more meesterious and attracteeve."

"And these are positive qualities?"

"For a vorkaholic, sex-deprived Starfleet crewman, yes."

Spock raised an eyebrow down at Chekov. "I would hardly refer to Skylar as such, especially in such a negative context. The humanistic negative disposition on the phrase 'All work, no play' is enigmatic -"

Chekov cut in, "I was referring to all of us a unit."

"Let's try Asteroidombie & Fitch," suggested Sulu from over his shoulder. "I think that should be in his range."

"For bottom layers, maybe," Chekov stated. "I am thinking that maybe ve should get 'eem a nice jecket from Guess."

"From where?" Spock asked.

"Guess."

"I am not accustomed to human games of inferences."

Amelia took Spock's arm. "No hun, Guess is a clothing store; a very sleek clothing store where you'll find a very sexy leather jacket. Or something like that."

"I also vote a skinny black tie," Sulu piped up. "Would a black fedora be too much?"

"Now, now, Su, he isn't your little gay Ken doll," Amelia chimed.

"Besides, you know ze keptin vill be vearing a fedora, most likely," Chekov said.

Sulu nodded. "This is true." Sulu laughed to himself. "Hey, do you guys remember when those gay guys wouldn't leave Jim alone because of that hat he was wearing last shore leave?"

Amelia and Chekov laughed while Spock merely shook his head.

"I do not. I was not there."

They ignored Spock. Amelia said, "You warned him about that."

"He never learns," Chekov sighed with a smile as they entered Asteroidombie & Fitch.

:::::

Shopping for Spock was like being on a cadet's first day of Academy. It had been awhile since Spock had received such sharp demands and at first it was considerably undesirable coming from the very crewmen who were under him in rank. However, they appeared to know what they were doing as they engaged in their battles against who was picking out what, and if that 'what' was something that could work with another person's 'what.' Sulu and Chekov did most of the picking of the 'what.' They would then hold up their findings and Amelia would speculate internally with her finger in her chin. Sometimes she would furrow her eyebrows, tilt her head to the side, hum, purse her lips or even take the clothing and hold it up to Spock, drawing him back into the situation from the usual observing of the room and the textures of the clothing hanging all around him. He could never say it out loud, but he found the clothing in Asteroidombie & Fitch to be most appealing visually. The color spectrum was similar to those used on Vulcan, especially with the browns and beiges. After a few mild quarrels and some help from a sales attendant - who continually gawked at the Vulcan with curiously hungry eyes - Spock was led to a small room at the back of the store carrying ten different articles of clothing and what was called a tie.

"Okay, let's see what you can formulate off of this," Sulu told him with a pat of encouragement on his forearm.

"Just remember, ze tie goes on ze top," Chekov added offhandedly as he eyed the shirt next to him.

"Wait," Amelia said suddenly. "You know how to tie a tie, right?"

Before Spock could say anything in response, Sulu sighed heavily and pushed his way into the dressing room, Spock in tow. Amelia's eyes caught Spock's - he was slightly alarmed - before the door shut.

A smile crept across Amelia's face as Chekov stood next to her, a shirt off the rack in his hand.

"Do you think there is any hope for him?" he asked.

Amelia crossed her arms over her chest, still smiling at the door. "We'll find out once Su's done with him."

Chekov nodded. "Based on previous evidence, I vould not object to the idea that he comes vith us naked."

Amelia eyed him, covering her mouth to stifle her giggle.

Chekov gave her a sly smile. "Just a thought."

"You know, I slightly feel bad about subjecting him to this torture."

Chekov shrugged. "So vhat? He tortures us everyday on ze Enterprise."

"I know ... it just feels wrong. A little." Amelia paused. "Regardless of what he looks like, he's still going to be Spock. And he's still not going to want to be there, except to be with Skylar."

"I thought you said that this was a selfless act of love?"

"It is ... but -" Amelia was cut off by the interesting comments that came from behind the dressing room door. Both her and Chekov looked at it, wondering what was going on behind it.

"No - Spock - your arm goes -"

"This is absolutely illogical -"

"Zip this - be _careful_!"

"Why is your hand -?"

"_I'm tucking it in_!"

The sales woman walked up next to Amelia and Chekov, entranced by the rustling behind the door as well. "Wow," she muttered.

All of a sudden the noise ceased and a very long exasperated sigh announced the fact that the fiasco was either done or completely horrible - or both. Chekov, Amelia and the sales woman waited in heavy anticipation for the door to swing open. Suddenly, the knob turned. The door opened ever so much and then Sulu's head peeked out.

"Okay guys, honest opinions," he told them firmly. He pushed the door open the rest of the way where Spock stood almost in profile. He looked at them all, his slender figure tall and now ensconced in the most flattering and human outfit they had ever seen or had ever expected to see him in their lifetimes. If someone would have told them in the past that this day would come for any of them, they all would have laughed. However, it was real. All of it. The air of nympholepsy gripped them all as they each drank the sight in:

Spock stood with a pair of faded blue-wash jeans on that hugged his legs and backside perfectly without suffocating him. Around his waist was a slender black belt, embracing him with much enthusiasm. A thin dark blue sweater vest trimmed in black clung to his torso as the ends of a white dress shirt poked out from the bottom of the vest; his sleeves were rolled up at the top of his forearms, and his collar was folded over neatly, a thin black tie tucked beneath the vest. He was a vision of pure chic, an unforeseen model. He was stunning.

"Do you vant to know vhat ze heartbreaking thing is?" Chekov whispered, barely audible to anyone else, though they each heard it. "Tomorrow vill come and ve vill all loathe heem again."

"I was under the impression that the tie was supposed to go on top -"

Sulu shushed Spock. "Don't speak right now. I'm thinking."

"Wow," sounded the elongated sigh from the sales woman.

Both Sulu and Amelia looked at her. "Thank you for your services, he's already spoken for," Sulu alerted her briskly, and she defeated sauntered off. Sulu went back to observing his masterpiece, his hand on his chin, while Amelia's face grew dim.

Spock looked at himself in the mirror. He touched the fabric of the vest . "I do not understand why anyone is still calculating." He looked back at his designers. "Based on my research, this all seems to fit the human male fashion expectations for this particular evening."

"No," said Amelia suddenly.

The three men looked at her, Chekov incredulously, Sulu irritated and Spock curious.

"Fascinating," Spock commented, placing his hands behind his back. "I am usually very efficient in my research methods."

"_What-the-hell, Amelia_!" Sulu seethed. "What is it? He looks _perfect_!"

"We can't do this to him, Su!" Amelia told him passionately. She looked to Spock and stepped towards him. "Spock, if you could do anything with Skylar tonight, based on what you know about a human's expectations for shore leave, what would you do?"

Spock remained silent, processing the question. "That was an unexpected inquiry."

"You don't want to go to the club with us," Amelia told him. "No matter how nice you look tonight, you will still be miserable, Spock."

"I do not -"

"Yes, you will. You won't have to say anything. Anyone will common sense will know."

"Except Jim," Chekov added.

"That's what I said," Amelia replied. Turning back to Spock, she continued, "Skylar will be more than impressed by you even considering looking nice for her. She'd do anything you wanted her to do with you. Where do _you_ want to spend your shore leave with her?"

"Well ..." Spock started, the wheels in his head turning. "I suppose it would be appropriate to have dinner."

"Yes!" chimed Sulu. "A date! He can take her on a date."

"She quite enjoys the beach, and that is not a place she can visit while aboard the _Enterprise_."

"I can definitely find a nice restaurant thet is located on ze beach, and has a vegetarian menu for you," Chekov offered.

"Women enjoy a nice quiet walk along the beach at night," Sulu added. "It's a nice time to talk and just take in the surroundings." He paused and looked at Chekov. "I enjoy the beach." Chekov chuckled nervously.

"Eet's short notice," Chekov muttered to him.

"Spock, I think you will both enjoy your shore leave one hundred times more if you simply ask Skylar to go out on a date with you," Amelia said whimsically. "It is definitely something us girls love because it is so simple yet meaningful."

Spock considered this with a nod. "It is settled then. I shall ask Skylar to go on a date with me."

Both Chekov and Amelia clapped their hands together, beaming.

"Not so fast," Sulu said. He took Spock's arm. "You aren't going anywhere until we find you a black leather jacket." He paused. "Oh, and you still have to pay for this outfit."

:::::

The bridge was hardly efficient as the hung-over crewmen and captain of the _U.S.S. Enterprise_ returned to their posts to initiate the final boarding procedures so that the ship was ready to begin its break-away sequences. The only being with any life in his step was Spock, as he energetically made his way to his post.

"Someone's bright-eyed and bushy tailed," Bones stated as he walked up to Jim's chair to hand him his PADD.

Spock looked back at him. "That is an illogical statement, Doctor, as you know that I have dark brown eyes and no tail."

Bones looked down at Jim as Jim painfully laughed as he signed off on Bones's PADD. "I have too much of a migraine to deal with this crap today." He announced to the rest of the crew, "Standard headache medication is available in Sick Bay, and you all look like you need it. If you're throwing up, don't bother. I can't deal with any vomit today." He passed Amelia on his way out, giving her a wink as she blew him a kiss. She headed to Spock as he took his seat before his scanner.

Bending over his chair, she said quietly to him, "Did you two have fun?"

Suddenly Chekov and Sulu were at their sides, their apparent hung-over state gone for a moment.

Though slightly put off by the sudden audience he had, he nodded. "Yes, it was a very productive evening."

"Productive?" Sulu asked.

"Yes, Helmsman. We had a very delicious dinner, followed by an intimate walk along the beach, as you suggested. We also laid out under the stars and I told her about the constellations that we found. She apparently loved my outfit and very much enjoyed the evening."

"Much better than a club?" Chekov asked.

"Considerably so. And I extend my gratitude in all of your efforts for the evening."

"You're very welcome, Spock," Amelia replied for them all.

"You didn't get any sand on that jacket, did you?" Sulu asked briskly.

"Did you get any?"

This question caused them all to turn around as Jim stood over the conversation, smirking.

Puzzled, Spock inquired, "'Get any' what, Captain?"

Amelia shook her head and pushed Jim away, heading toward the turbo lift.

Sulu and Chekov returned to the conversation. "Vell?" Chekov questioned. "Did you two, ya know ...?"

"If you are referring to any physical expressions of gratitude on the part of Skylar for our date or from me because Skylar agreed to go on the date with me, I shall remind you that we all now don our regulated Starfleet uniforms, and such an inquiry is neither allowed or appropriate. It would serve us all better if you both were to return to your posts so that the ship could leave the dock on its scheduled course."

Put off, both Sulu and Chekov exchanged looks and began to walk back to the helm.

"Oh and gentlemen," Spock called after them. When they turned to face him, he said, "What was that term you used? Oh yes, you're in my house now."

Gritting his teeth, Chekov began to mutter, "Picture zhat leather jecket, leather jecket, leather jecket ..."

"It's too late," Sulu said. "I already loathe him."

- The End -

**A/N:** Sorry about the lack of chaptering and Scotty :( I always forget about that man, and I love him so. Please provide feedback :D


End file.
